The · Bloom · is · off · the · Rose

Ahhh The Bangles. Yes it's an 80s day. I am soooo head over heels for Jeff. I seriously never thought I would find this, and now I have and I just can't believe it's real. This is the most amazing feeling I have ever had in my entire life and he is just so perfect for me.

Anyway, so for Valentine's Day I got him some pictures of us in frames and he put them right up in his room. I of course got him a card with a cute little note I wrote and some candy...because everyone loves candy. I also baked him some cookies, because every man loves food. He bought me Tomb Raider:Anniversary for my Nintendo Wii and some chocolate and roses and 2 cards. My birthday is on Sunday too so who knows what is going on with that.

Jeff's parents are in Alabama right now but they saw a picture of us and said I was a "Beautiful girl" haha how sweet...they obviously don't know me haha. They are coming back in March and can't wait to meet me apparently.

On Saturday, my parents, Jeff, and I are going to dinner at Wild Bull and then Jeff and me and a bunch of people are going to Monaco Bay and such. It's going to be a blast. On Sunday, my birthday, Jeff is taking me to La Cantina, in Paw Paw, they have AMAZING food. He is trying to make me fat, I swear, he's always feeding me chocolate and cheesecake mmmm...so you can see why I love him, obviously.

I don't really know what else to say because I have found the love of my life and I really couldn't be happier unless I lost about 30 lbs. Well, I guess that's next on my list...and maybe a boob job haha jk

I got a SMOKIN' outfit for Saturday night, thanks to Kari's better judgment with fashion and such haha. Love you girl!

The parental unit leaves for Vegas on Tuesday so it's just Zippy and me...and my video games :)

I hope everyone is well! P.S. Bustin makes me feel good too, Kari hahaha

I am in love. Jeff is amazing. He is my prince charming. I don't know what else to say. I can't wait to graduate and move to Florida together. It looks like my luck has changed. I don't know why girls have to be so bitchy and jealous about stupid shit...I want to be like "Look you are a truly unpleasant person to be around and you had your chance to get him, if it was meant to be, I wouldn't be here." So yeah...suck it bitch, I got him and you didn't.

Also, I am sick. ugh.

Loves to all! :)

Wellllll it's been quite a while since I posted on this thing, I'm pretty sure no one reads it anyway. Everyone that I want to know about my life already does.

So I just got back from hanging out with Jesse all day. We went to his uncle's house to get one of his dad's guns, so I met them, then we went to his parents' house to get another one and some other stuff and I met them. Jesse's parents are sooooo nice. Anyway, so then we went out to his friend's house to shoot his guns and he has a bunch of shotguns and rifles and 2 handguns.

So these guys are all outside waiting for us and stuff and Jesse's like, "so you're going to shoot all of these, right?" and I'm like ummm ok? Because I only shot Tyler's glock the one time last year. So he gets out this rifle with a scope and we're shooting at some beer cans and a target pretty far away and this one guy's like "Yeah it took us a few rounds to hit one of those cans the first time" and Jesse shows me how to hold it and shit and I get up there and hit one of the cans on the second shot, and I just shot the shit out of them...it was great.

All the guys were like "You're hussling us!" it was pretty funny, they were all impressed and shit..and kind of embarrassed too I guess. Anyway, so it was a lot of fun, and I love doing new things so yeah...Good times.

Jesse invited me over earlier this week and we played guitar hero and it was SO MUCH FUN!!!! OMG it's so addicting. Then we watched "Cars" because I had never seen it and he loves it and such...then we did a puzzle together haha and looked at some of his pictures.

I have such a good time with him, even if we aren't doing anything special. I don't know...he met my dad when he came to pick me up on his bike to take me to dinner with his coworkers and their spouses or girlfriends. My dad seemed to like him quite a bit, and he is way more talkative than any of my last few boyfriends have been. I don't think I've ever had so much fun with anyone else just hanging out and doing absolutely nothing.

The only bad thing is that he thinks I'm a spoiled little rich girl...I'm not stuck up and I'm sure he wouldn't continue to hang out with me if it really bothered him...but anyway...I like him a lot so I guess we'll see where this is going.

I'm trying to take it slow with him right now though because I'm not sure what I want out of it, and I doubt he does either...so for now we'll just hang out and keep having fun together and see what happens.

School starts on Tuesday...I'm kind of looking forward to it and kind of not. That is all.

Wow...it has been quite a long time since I've written in this god-forsaken thing. No one really reads it anyway, so who cares.

Life has been alright...I'm taking 2 summer classes which are both soooo boring and easy, and I've been going out a lot...probably way too much.

I finished my co-ed summer softball league earlier this week....met a guy on the team...everyone thinks we are dating, but we just hang out a lot and make out and he wants me and my brother thinks I'm leading him on or some bullshit like that but he doesn't know....he just says that because I talk to Jesse (yes...like the Rick Springfield song) on the phone a lot and he takes me out on his bike.

Just because we ride out to South Haven on his Harley doesn't mean that we are dating ughhhhhh and that's all I hear about at work...it's fucking ridiculous how much people talk about shit they know nothing about...and they don't even ask, they just assume. Oh well.

So yeah, Jesse and I have indeed been hanging out a lot and he kind of frustrates me because we are not dating...yet he feels the need to pay for me where ever we go. Or if we're with Brandy and Jeff, he'll buy them drinks or something too. It's really nice and stuff but I've always been kinda weird about that. Anyway....I kind of am starting to like him like him but I don't want a boyfriend and there's a few other guys that I have been....talking to, I guess.

Cade, long story of how we met....he's sooooooo hott but I think he's a player and I don't even want to go there. He wants me really bad too....oh well. We shall see.

Aaron has come back into my life....I went to his party at his house, and I had fun. I didn't talk to him a whole lot but he looks exactly the same. Brandy was supposed to go to that party with me but I couldn't get ahold of her so Cade came. Cade and I always have fun together...but I kind of want to try again with Aaron. I always thought the timing was bad for us the first time around and if it was meant to be, our paths would cross again someday...so I guess whatever happens, happens. If not, that's fine too, I've got plenty of guys to choose from already.

ARRRGGGGGGHHHHH boys frustrate me!

OMG and Jesse asked me to go to a concert with him and then to go to this work picnic thing with him and then to start doing these "couple nights" with some people he works with....wtf?!?!?!?!

And I don't know what to say if he were to ask me about our "current situation". I hate the label and I really don't want to be committed right now. I feel like I'm dating like a guy....keeping my options open guilt-free....weird.

Anyway, so yeah, that's what's going on in my life right now. Summer is fun but DAMN it's hot!!!! Have fun!

So I broke up with Zach before I left for Florida, which was the last week of exams.

Life has been great being single, I really am only happy when I don't have anyone I have to expect something from. Guys always disappoint me.

Zach got back from Belize and started his crybaby shit about how I "didn't care about him" or some shit like that...he is the most self-centered person I have ever met. All he ever thought about was himself, but it was always someone else's responsibility to make his life "fun".

I was too nice to tell him that the real reason I broke up with him was because he got to be the most annoying and ungrateful person that I've ever met and I just couldn't stand being around him for one more second.

Plus there was this guy, Ben, that I met, and he is SUPER hott, and it hasn't really gone anywhere, but I figured that if I met someone who I found so utterly attractive and I was actually willing to do something about it, then it was time to end it with Zach.

He has been such a crybaby bitch since we broke up. He personally attacked my character and my devotion and love to my family and friends, who the fuck does that? What an asshat.

Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest...I can't believe I wasted a year of my life with such a douche. My brother was right ughhhh...I mean, god, I should've dumped him after spring break when he put me on a guilt trip for going on a family vacation without inviting him. He is not part of my family, and I could've told him that he never would be, and I don't want my family to have to spend time with him. What an ass...seriously, ugh the more I think about it, the more pissed I get, because I wasted so much time and money with him.

He told me I was the selfish one, when all he ever did was complain and bitch and cry and moan about shit....his parents shell out so much money for him to be here and go surfing and go fucking everywhere and all he did was complain...wow...good luck finding ANYONE who will put up with that kind of bullshit. Clingy asshole.

Alright well it was good to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening! xoxo

Hope everyone is having a great summer so far :)

So I haven't been on this thing since before Christmas! Crazy! I had my 21st birthday, which was awesome, and then Vegas for spring break, which was a TOTAL blast! I want to go back soon, and I never want to leave! Chicago was alright...meh

So my aunt was here with her kids the last 2 days, and I found out that a few of my cousins who are cliquey as hell were spreading rumors about me to everyone on my mom's side of the family. Her daughter is friends with them, so she doesn't speak to me because of what they think. I hate fucking girls...they are bitches. WTF ya know? They're all like "Hi Rachel!" all fake at our family get togethers and tell people I'm stuck up. I fucking hate my family. Supposedly they got all these "facts" of theirs from my "online thing" which would be this.

I wouldn't really give a shit if it was someone that was a friend or whatever, because, fuck them, shit happens. But they are always like "oh we love you, we'd do anything for you blah blah" and they start their fucking cliques and spread rumors about people. So if they are reading this right now, this is a big fuck you.

I am quitting LJ, I think. I haven't been on this thing for months and then people remind me that I never update. Blah.

Zachary left to go back to Germany for winter break today. He asked me to come visit, but
1. I can't get the time off work
2. I can't afford it
3. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out the day after Christmas

I only have 2 more months til I turn 21!!! Yay! And my Pookie poo Brent is coming home tomorrow.

I have one exam left...I would've had a psychology exam, but I have a 4.0 in the class so I don't have to take it. I can't believe I got 380/400 points for the whole semester. SAWWWEEETTT!!!

My mom, my dad, Zippy and I put up the Christmas tree and decorations a few days ago. I love Christmas...but it sucks that my darling Zachua won't be here. I found a little stocking for Zippy boy, and I bought him a cute little christmas shirt to wear! :)

I bought Zach a really nice watch for Christmas. God, I love him.

Anyway, life isn't too bad right now, I guess. Work kinda sucks, but hey, that's life.

It's such a small world sometimes.

Well, so long either forever or a few months.

Damn it's been a long time. I hate this fucking thing. It's so retarded.

I have to stop saying that things are "gay" because there is a kid that I sit next to in one of my classes and he's cool as hell and he's gay.

My home smells like garlic. I like it.

Not much to say, I guess. Zachua and I are doing well.

I still don't know what I want to be for Halloween. I am going to get a costume on Friday when I get a large paycheck with all my paid vacation and shit.

No one really cares about my LJs anymore, because they wouldn't need to read it if they were friends with me. But whatever.

I miss my Brentypoo.

Alright I'm done. This shit is stupid.

I don't even know why I have this livejournal thingy. I never update anymore. Zach got back from Germany on Wednesday, and he bought me this BEAUTIFUL necklace when he was in Italy this summer. Apparently Venice is famous for their beautful glass or something, and omg the necklace is so pretty.

Last night Brandy and I got drunk and went out...we seem to meet the most interesting people when we go out. Brandy and I want to go elk hunting haha...I love that girl.

Zach's mom just got here last night and I called him today and she answered haha...she was all like "we'll do dinner later!!!" She wants to meet me so bad. I hope she likes me. Zach seems kinda scared about me meeting her...I don't know what he's afraid of, I can talk to anyone, and I seem to be good at pleasing parents. Anyway, she seems nice and I'm sure everything will be fine.

August has been an interesting month so far. My parents went camping in South Haven last week and we went to Saugatuck on Thursday and some guy asked us to be in a TV commercial haha...it's for Michigan tourism or something. We were just extras, they wanted us to sit in this restaurant and make it look full. We all had to sign talent release forms and get pictures taken and we got paid $10 haha...It was pretty cool, I guess.

Then, the next day, my mom busted her ankle up...she finally went to the Doctor yesterday because the swelling didn't go down all the way and the bruising was pretty bad. They think she has a fracture and she has to wear some type of splinty thing or whatever for now.

I got my belly button pierced yesterday. It didn't hurt at all...although it was a little sore afterwards...lookin good though haha.

Anywho, so it's been a pretty good summer I guess, although most of it was uneventful.

School starts on Tuesday...ughhhhhh.

Well, only 3 weeks until Zach comes back. I just got back on Monday from Kentucky. My mom, my aunt Mary, and I went to visit my Aunt Diane and her family. It was alright I guess.

I don't really have much to say. I find that I have an insatiable need to gain my brother's trust and approval...I wonder if I will ever fulfill this ridiculous obligation for him to be my friend, and not just my brother.

That's all.

Damn I was just reading my last update and it's been an UBAR long time!!!!

So lots to tell...Zach left, and I am missing him like crazy and we email eachother constantly, so it's all good...I guess.

On the 4th of July, somehow, Brandy and I ended up hanging out with Josh's douche self and his friend Ryan. Josh was pissing me off or something, and I had been drinking, and we were messing around...I was just slappin him around a little, and he pantsed me and I realized how much I hate him. So I just started swinging...I beat the shit out of him. My knuckles were bruised and everything! It was fucking sweet. I was so proud of myself...he deserved it...Brandy's mom even said so!

Anywho...those are pretty much the main things that have been going on I guess. Jeff, my ex from high school, has been calling me a lot...he's moving to New Mexico I guess and he wants to see me before he leaves? Weird.

Zippy is such a good puppy...he loves me the best I think. I love my puppy.

I have to start housesitting for this lady tomorrow until next Saturday, so that should be fun, I'll be rakin in some money for that.

My brother comes back from Europe next Saturday, so Brandy, my mom, and I are going to Chicago for the day to visit the museum and all that jazz.

We went camping and Brandy came for a night and it was really fun, we went on the Idler and Clementine's and it was a good time.

Brandy and I went to Bluesfest and her sister got us in so I was 21 for the night and ohhhh snap that was fun! We met these 2 guys that are firefighters in Portage and one of them knew our dads hahahhaa he went to school with them! It was hilarious cuz all these older guys always talk to us and buy us drinks and stuff...some 40 year old guy at Main St. tried to hit on me and he was from florida and he's all "If you guys ever come down there, you should hang out with me on my boat!" and then he told me I couldn't come because I'd be too much fun...after he tried to hug me and all ughhhh but it was hilarious.

Anywho, I don't know what's goin on tonight, but I hope somethin...I've been pretty fuckin bored lately.

Brandy and I and a bunch of other people are going to see Nickelback at the Allegan County Fair..we got tickets the minute they were for sale and I CAN'T WAIT!!! It's going to be awesome!

Well, that's pretty much it, I guess...I saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie last night and it was AWESOME! I think my mom and I might go to see it on Saturday too. Should be fun!

Alright I'm out, have a great summer, everyone! MUAHZ!

So things have been going up and down for me like a fuckin' rollercoaster!

Class sucks big time, and I had 2 exams in there on tuesday...I got in my car to go home and I started crying...

So I went and bought myself a new swimsuit.

Zach said he wanted to take me to dinner, but I know he's low on funds and shit so I was like ohh you don't have to and all...

So I finally said that I would let him take me out to dinner and stuff on Tuesday.

He shows up at my house with a bouquet of flowers and an adorable card!!!! The flowers were gorgeous! They were from that Sofia place at the Radisson hotel downtown (NICE PLACE)!!!!

So we went to Burdick's at the Radisson, and I love that place (kind of pricey I guess) but it was great.

We went to rent some movies and we got "Date Movie" which I thought was hilarious! I knew every single movie they made fun of.

He's such a great guy...last night we went to watch him play soccer, and he came right over and gave me a kiss in front of everybody :)

I left a note in his car yesterday and it was kinda corny and stuff...but anyway, I sprayed it with perfume and stuff too haha...

So I was talking to him and he was like "Rachel that note was so sweet....I'm going to top yours" and he asked if I sprayed something on the note cuz it smelled good haha.

Anywho...so today I told him and his friends I couldn't go out for thirsty thursday because I've gotta get my shit together for this class...so basically I can't go out again until this class is done.

Graham and Zach surprised me and came over to my house to visit me because I was having a bad day!!! That's so sweet! Graham is hott...Brandy and I discussed it last night...and if I wasn't with Zach, I would totally go for that.

Anyway, so yeah, things are good with Zach, but I can't wait for this summer class to be over...but again, that's a downer because Zach goes back to Germany after the semester is over booooooo :(

After my class tomorrow I'm going to the bar around 3 and I'll probably be the only girl with like...50 guys because they're watching World Cup Soccer haha.

So anyway, that should be a good time...maybe I can drag Brandy with me so I have someone to talk to if I get bored with watching soccer...hmmm

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a fun, safe summer!!! MUAHZ!!! xoxo

Caution...if reading something about someone else's relationship is going to make you feel bad, DO NOT READ THIS. It's way too cute.

I just got back not too long ago from a date with Zach :)

We were going to go out to dinner but I hate eating in front of guys and I was working out...ya know, the usual excuses.

So anyway, Zach knows how much I love ice cream, so we went to the Parlor (AMAZING).

After that, we went to that park in downtown Kalamazoo, the one where they have ribfest and jazzfest and shit...kind of across from Bell's Brewery.

So we hung out in the playground and stood on the bridge and walked around.

It started to sprinkle so we walked back to the bridge and it started downpouring and it was SOOOO ROMANTIC!!!!

We made out on the bridge in the rain for like 20 minutes!!!

He was like "I wish there were more people out here so they can see me kissing such a hott girl"

Then we got back in the car and I said "I probably look like a wet rat" and he kissed my hand and said "You look great"

He told me he liked my new swimsuit, the one I wore to the beach with him, and he said I looked good in it...ok I don't...but that was sweet.

At my house he was kissing me goodnight after he walked me to my door and he was like "Know what?" and I said "What?" and he goes "You're beautiful, and I'm glad that I get to kiss you"

He is so great! Tonight was so romantic. Making out in the rain is fucking hott!

The only thing that could've made the night better is if this all happened at Disneyworld :)

Haha...but seriously...Zach and I are both hopeless romantics...and tonight was so awesome...

Well I'm tired as hell so I'm off to bed...goodnight everyone :)

I never feel like updating anymore, but I know I should. Haha yeah right, no one reads this shit anymore.

Anywho...Zach made me a mix CD with this song on it...I fucking love it. I know it's old, but ya know, all I want is for a guy to feel like that about me.

It's almost weird being "kind of dating" someone again...

I decided that after all the bullshit with Josh and my realization that being a hopeless romantic is a disaster, that I would try to be single until I'm 21. That's about 8 months.

I went to the beach with Brandy, Zach, and his suitemate Jake. Brandy's friend Cathy showed up and it was a BLAST...Good thing I was drunk, because I hate being in front of people in a swimsuit. UGHHHH...but it was fun.

Brandy, Cathy, and I went to Hartford Speedway and got drunk, then we went to a little hole in the wall bar in Gobles and it was so fun! Some guys bought us all drinks and I played shuffleboard haha. It was great, and I'm undefeated.

Zach drove us out to South Haven on Saturday night. It was absolutely gorgeous out there...I love spending time with him.

Brandy says that Zach is crazy about me :)

I love hanging out with my friends and his friends...we always have so much fun.

Well anyway, so far, it's been an AMAZING summer, and I hope everyone else is having a blast as well.

xoxo MUAHZ!

This has been an amazing week!!!!

Josh called me on wednesday, he wanted to take me out to dinner or something...fuck that shit.

I've been hanging out with Zach a lot, we went out on Monday :)

We got our puppy last night...I love him to pieces...he's a little rat terrier named "Zippy" and he is just the cutest little thing I've ever seen.

I was talking to Zach's suitemate and he said Zach has a crush on me, and he thinks I'm pretty, and he'd like to be my boyfriend, and that I have a "lucious" ass...haha...that was a direct quote on the ass thing.

Some drama with Brandy and Heath, so I was with her last night for a while...

I passed all my classes, too!!! Haha...I must've aced my finals, because I seriously didn't think I would pass chemistry. So congrats to me...I might be getting some money for good grades :)

I only got a 3.5 in sociology though...that kind of pisses me off.

But anyway, I got my books in the mail and we got a bunch of disney shit too, so I gotta go check that shit out now.

Have a great weekend loves!!! :)

Well I just wrote an entire fucking entry and it got deleted or some ghey shit like that.

So to make a long story short, I went to see "Lucky Number Sleven" with Zach tonight.

I have 2 finals tomorrow so I had to come home and study.

When I was leaving he was like "Rachel, I really like you. Your kisses keep me up at night" haha...

I apologized for the extremely drunk episode on Friday, and I promised him it will never happen again...I sure as hell hope it doesn't, either.

So anyway, that was good, and I said some more stuff before but I don't feel like typing it again, because, like I said, I have more studying to do.

I will be extremely glad when this semester is FINALLY over.

Good luck with exams, kids! MUAHZ

I'm a bad daughter...I feel terrible for making my Daddy worry about me.

I need to cut my drinking in half...it was a crazy weekend.

Hung out with Josh...accidentally called him Zach haha.

Hung out with Zach...drank too much...long story.

I would like a new job.

Phantom of the Opera was AMAZING. I will try to see it again sometime.

Lord, please forgive me for my sins...I'm a terrible daughter...

Alright, I'm out.

HERE WE GO...

Crazy shit...

Last night, I went to my brother's, we grilled outside, and a bunch of his friends came over.

His roommate that I've had a crush on forever, Zach, invited me to be his partner for a beer pong tournament.

So Zach, me, and like 4 or 5 of his friends all went to steak n' shake, and Zach opened the car door for me and paid for me....I thought he was just being a nice guy, right?

We won our first beer pong game, but lost the second.

There were a lot of girls that were talkin to him, but he kept coming over to make sure I was having agood time...

This kid, Brandon, kept talking to me and I SOOOOO wasn't into him...ugh but anyway

So just as we were about to leave, some people started playing spin the bottle hahaha...nice right?

So Zach put his arm around me and he was like "oh wait, we have to stay" haha uhhhh

We left a little after that, and my brother wasn't home yet, it was about 2 am or whatever, and I wasn't drunk or anything, and Zach and I just hung out in his room listening to music and talking until like 5...it was really nice to just talk and stuff.

Zach was like "If you want to sleep in a bed, you can have mine, and I'll sleep on the couch" but I said I was fine...but that's so sweet of him!!!

My brother came home and he was playing Halo and I was laying on the couch and we were just talking and stuff and I told him about the evening and he was like "Rachel, don't encourage Zach" and I was like "what?"

Caleb said that Zach likes me...I told him I thought that Zach was just being nice and stuff, but Caleb was like "Rachel, trust me, guys can tell when other guys like a girl...he likes you"

And I told him how Zach was talking to other girls at the party and stuff and Caleb said "He knows they would be an easy pick up, but he likes you, and he knows you'll be back, and I'm sure he doesn't want to make things weird"...but I've had a crush on him FOREVER!

I was like "So when do you think he started liking me?" and Caleb goes "I could tell from the beginning that he likes you, he always asks you to hang out and go out with us and stuff, it's easy to tell, and girls are always oblivious to guys liking them"

So now I don't know what to do because omg I've liked Zach since I met him, I just thought he was always being a nice guy.

I guess I'll just wait this out, because Zach does seem a little shy and stuff...Brandy says I'm a pimpette and I drive guys crazy....I have no idea why, but anyway.

So last night made up for Friday...omg, I seriously don't ever want to talk to Ron again...and Larry keeps calling me, it's getting ridiculous, and I don't really have feelings for him like I do for Zach...

Zach lives in Germany, though, so he'll be gone for the summer and...yeah, I guess I should just see how things go, and not read too much into stuff.

I'm going to study some more for my exam tomorrow, then I'm off to bed.

I hope everyone had an awesome weekend :)

I'm at my brother's apartment, we just grilled out and shit with his friends...

My parents are in Florida, and I drank some tequila and got mean last night hahaha...

I guess I bitched out Larry and stuff last night..I just don't want a relationship and I feel like he's kind of immature or something

My brother's hott roommate, Zach, invited me to be his partner for a beer pong tournament HELL YEAH

Alright I'm out...not much to say I guess